Heard at our house the other day:
Me: What do you want to have for dinner?
Hubby: I thought we were having chili.
Me: Yeah, but I didn’t take the meat out until this morning, and it’s still all hard and frozen, so it’s not ready, and we have that speech therapist for Frankie coming at 6:00, so our schedule is really tight. So maybe just throw in that pizza?
Hubby: (smiling) So, are you telling me that you took out the meat and it’s still hard, and so it’s going to be tight?
Me: (silent, and then) Yes.
Literally every single time that I tell my husband that I’m taking out the meat for dinner tomorrow, he snickers. The man’s mind is in a constant state of perversion. But he makes me laugh.
Honey, this is why I married you.

Yep, boys.
Kinda missing it. Bc i have no one to inflict my dirty sense of humor on
I am always afraid of offending ppl at first. Then i figure that they will need to know sooner than later. I know who I am. Cards on the table, baby.
:p