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Archive for the ‘About Me’ Category

in a funk

I’m in a deep funk lately.  Not sure exactly what caused the funk, but I believe it stems from a series of the following events:

– Hubby went out of town (i.e. chaoes)

– then I went out of town (i.e. more chaos)

– my out-of-townness was to attend the Hearts at Home conference (basically a conference for moms – yeah, I didn’t know these existed either)

– at the conference, I started a series of thoughts that have lead to an all-out existential crisis of who am I, what do I believe, do I even know what the fuck I’m doing anymore, etc., etc.

(don’t get me wrong, the conference was a wonderful, wonderful experience, and very thought-provoking.  Maybe too thought-provoking, which is why the crisis occured).

– I got sick, and am still sick, although now I think it’s just nasty allergies, which means I will miserable until, oh, July.

– because of said events, the house is a mess, and I can’t ignore it.

– I took a job adjuncting this fall at hubby’s community college, and the thought of going back to work (even if it’s only for this one class one night a week) terrifies me.  The thought of once again balancing two working parents terrifies me. The thought of lesson planning terrifies me.

– I re-did our budget tonight and realized that I probably do need to work at least sometimes, and that we’re still broke.  The thought that I almost didn’t take the class terrifies me.

I think that last one put the nail in the coffin.  Do not, repeat, do not attempt to budget while in a funk.  No budgeting while funking.

So I’m not really sure what the point of telling the blogosphere all this is.  I’m not going to know talk about how wonderful my life really is, and how blessed I am, and how the funk is just a journey.  You know all that already.  I know know all that already.  I don’t need to go down that road.  I just want to bitch and complain about the general state of things, thank you very much.  I think the funk is starting to subside somewhat, though.  I mean, I actually did the dishes AND showered tonight.

And to top it all off, Frankie ripped the backspace button off my laptop, and now I have to push on the little nubbin every time I make a typing error, and in doing so, I’ve realized that I’m really not as good a typist as I thought I was.  Leave it to toddlers to humble us all.

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Still alive (barely)…

Yup, I’m still here.  Still breathing, still going strong.  My absence from the bloggy world has a good explanation.  Remember that little move that I mentioned before?  Well, it happened.  We moved to Springfield, IL, home of everything-is-named-after-Abraham-Lincoln. 

We’ve been here about 3 weeks, and I feel like I’m finally starting to recover now.  It’s been a rough summer.  I worked at my old job until literally the day before the move, since I was quitting, had no new job lined up, and Tony’s new paycheck wouldn’t come in until the end of the month.  In other words, we needed money.  We had to coordinate moving helpers at both our old and new place, get a truck, pack everything up, say good-bye to friends and family (whom I miss dearly), and take care of a certain one year old who gets into everything.  Needless to say, by the time we unloaded the truck in Springfield, I was a wreck.  Drained emotionally and physically.

But we’re here!  And things have been much calmer.  Although I’m taking some time to get used to my new role as stay-at-home mommy.  It’s funny, all I wanted to do since the day he was born was stay home with my little Frankie – and now that it’s finally happened, I’m having a hard time adjusting.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t exactly want to go back to work, but it’s a different world and a different lifestyle all together.  I think it wouldn’t be as hard if I was still in Chicago and had family and friends around me, but it’s hard to be in a new area, not know anyone, AND stay home.

But we’re slowly getting a routine, and I love that I have time to actually get chores done and have quality time with the Franksters.  Our place is slowly coming together, and I’ll post some pictures soon…when I finally find the cord to my camera.  Oh, the joys of living amongst boxes.

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You may be wondering why I’m writing a weekend review post when it’s Tuesday.  Well, I always have off on Mondays, so the start of the workweek for me is Tuesday.  So there.

Friday – playgroup at a friend’s house, where Frankie slept most of the time and did his empathy cry, where he cries because other babies are crying.  You can tell he is actually upset because another baby is crying.  We may have an artist on our hands here. 

Went to Toys-R-Us to buy a new toy for Frankie, based on how much he liked the one at the playgroup, courtesy of Baba and Pimpop (that’s Grandma and Grandpa on my side).  I’m hoping this cool push cart toy will help him learn to walk, since he’s decided to skip crawling all together.

Saturday – got lots of work down around the house, thanks to an unprecedented 2 hour nap from Frankie.  Clearing out the house in preparation of our move has begun!  Took a walk to my parent’s house with Frankie, even though it was windy and 55 degrees.  Where the *#$& is spring?

Sunday – worked. 😦  Came home and realized that it was 75 degrees outside, so we took Frankie on a walk to the playground and he had his first ride in a baby swing!  He loved it, but he’s still a tad too little to go very high.  Watched the movie “Hereafter” with Matt Damon and starting thinking way too much about the afterlife.

Monday – grocery shopping (sorry no pics), made and froze this awesome potato soup, lots of laundry, lots of cleaning.  Watched a bad movie with Sarah Michelle Gellar in it.  Decided that Sarah Michelle Gellar is horribly miscast in a lot of movies.  Tried to sell old clothes at Plato’s Closet and only made $17.  Realized that clothes I wore less than a year ago are out of date and not cool at all.  Felt very uncool.  Decided to ignore feelings of uncoolness.

Hope you all had a great weekend!

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We had a great and busy weekend these past few days. This was my weekend off, so I had Friday through Monday off. Gotta love those 4 day weekends!

On Friday, Frankie and I did our grocery shopping, and thanks to a unprecedented 2 1/2 hour nap, I got a ton of laundry done. Our friends Jill and Earl stopped by with our goddaughter Cora – I really need to get some pictures of her, because she’s freakin’ adorable.

On Saturday, we were supposed to go out, but Tony needed to stay home to get his research done (big surprise), and I stuck around to help him out. At night, we went out to Noodles and Company because I craved their Pad Thai, and then we dropped Frankie off at my parents and went to church. Not to Mass, but to a marriage session. The premise is that for the next six weeks, you go to the church as a couple and watch a 15-20 minute video about a theme in your marriage. Then, you leave and go on a date. This week’s theme was How You Meet, and Tony and I answered the questions and talked about our early years while going on our date to Barnes and Noble. In retrospect, that probably wasn’t the greatest date idea, because we both kept separating to look at books, and then we spent money we didn’t have on books we probably don’t need. Not that it was a bad date, just not as intimate as it should have been. It was nice to get out of the house and not have to worry about Frankie, though. Next Saturday, we plan on going out for a drink together and maybe playing some pool. I think the last time I did that was…a long, long, long time ago.

Yesterday (Sunday) we met up with other couples from the mommy group that I belong to and went to the Art Institute in Chicago. We had a blast: Frankie played in the baby playroom (although still no crawling!), and we checked out the new Modern Wing, which I think I enjoyed more than Tony. He’s says it’s too weird for him, and kept asking me if  various objects were supposed to be art.  Sigh.

Today’s pretty slow. We’re still trying to adjust to daylight savings, and slept in until 9:30! Frankie is about an hour off as well, so we’ll have to try to get him in bed at a certain time. He did sleep in his crib for his morning nap, again unprecedented!

Hope you all had a good weekend!

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So this year, I decided to observe Lent, like a good Catholic that I am that I strive to be.  Rather than give something up, I decided to do something.  And that something is…to actually observe Lent and go to church.  I’m a fair weather church goer normally, going every now and then and on major holidays.  But lately, I’ve been craving a little more spirituality in my life.  Maybe it’s because I’m a mom now, or maybe it’s because there’s been so many changes lately in our lives.  In any case, that’s my Lenten promise to the big guy upstairs.  Big lady upstairs?  Supreme being upstairs?  Either way.

I went last Wednesday to start things off right with Ash Wednesday, which is such a cool ritual in my opinion.  I mean, ashes on foreheads?  Bells chiming?  It’s all very ritualistic and spooky in a soothing way.

Frankie took part as well.

See that smudge on his forehead?  It’s supposed to be a cross.  My little Catholic baby.  May you experience the kind of guilt that only a Catholic upbringing can provide.

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A New Year…

With 2011 now here, I find myself joining pretty much the rest of the world in making some resolutions.  Here are mine, in no particular order:

1) Work out 3 days a week – Monday, Wednesday, and Friday – not a full workout, mind you, but just some stomach/Pilates-type exercises.  As much as I love my son, love him beyond words, I don’t really love my post-baby belly.  It’s saggy, stretchy, and lumpy.  And yes, Frankie, I may remind you of this each birthday.  No one guilt trips like a Catholic mother.

2) Organize our house, particularly in a way that is baby-friendly, and helps me keep my sanity.  As in, no more random papers and things all over the place.  This will include getting rid of excess stuff we don’t use. 

This one could take a while.

3) BLOG!!!  I miss writing.  I’ve always considered myself a writer by trade (English major, diary-keeper of many years – heck, I even met my husband while writing for a school paper), and I find myself “writing” in my head all the time.  I need to get these thoughts on paper, and nurture a creative outlet.  A room of my own, so to speak (thank you, Virginia Woolf).

I figure these three are do-able (that’s what he said…hee hee).  Of course, only time will tell…

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Ah, the joys of pregnancy never end.  As you know (if you read the About Me section), I am expecting my first child in May.  Right now, I’m about 21 weeks pregnant, and the fun just never seems to end.  The first trimester was filled with nausea, vomiting, and insane fatigue.  Second trimester has been better, for sure, but I get lots of stomach cramping (or “round ligament stretching,” if you prefer the sugar-coated doctor’s version), have to pee at least once an hour, and have begun waddling.  Hey, you walk normal while carrying a watermelon in front of you.  

To add to this fun, this morning, I woke up screaming, with a lovely leg cramp in my left calf.  And, like everything else that’s happening to my body, this is completely normal.  Everything is normal.  Bleeding gums and nose?  Normal.  Waking up to pee three times a night?  Normal.  Oh, your arm fell off?  Totally normal, it’s just your hormones.  It’ll grow back later.

Forgive my rant, which literally has nothing to do with being green.  I promise more information on green living soon, but right now, I’m busy becoming a mommy.  Mommy loves you, little one, she’s just a little hormonal.  And it’s totally normal.

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